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What are some funny and smart quotes?

14.06.2025 09:36

What are some funny and smart quotes?

“Ah just like all women. If they’re not turning down your proposal of marriage, they”re accusing you of suspicious behavior in the lingerie changing room.”

My sister Tracy sent me these a little while ago. I thought I’d share them. Thanks Trace.

“A Freudian slip is when you say one thing when you’re really thinking about a mother.”

Why was the rock band Kiss so successful?

“There is no rule against postal workers dating women. It just works out that way.”

“Everyone in the Swiss Army owns a Swiss Army knife. That’s why no one messes with Switzerland.”

They did a study between postal workers and chimpanze...

Do you believe that social media companies should allow posts spreading misinformation about election results, as suggested by Rep. Jim Jordan?

“The human brain can only operate as fast as its slowest brain cells. Too much alcohol kills brain cells, especially the slower, weaker ones. So, regular consumption of beer eliminates the slower brain cells after you’ve had a few beers which will speed up your brain.”

“It’s a little known fact that pigs are the smartest animal. Scientists say that if pigs had thumbs and a language that they could be trained to do manual labor. They give you 20 to 30 years of loyal service and then at their retirement dinner, you can eat them.”

“It’s a little known fact that the tan became popular in the Bronze Age.”

I have a "fat pussy" and I'm super self cautions about it. Do guys think it's gross?

Few people had funnier or smarter quotes than Cliff Clavin from the TV show, Cheers.